Have new blog for my PhD stuff: Madness and Theory
From now on, all my theory in that area will be published there. At the moment there is just the conference notes crossposted, some more will be added soon then we’ll see how it grows.
Everything else will remain on here.
After a gap from blogging as I was otherwise engaged I found myself wondering, again, why I blog.
As these posts attest, with the thought broadcast issues I get, as well as the voices, I have an issue of privacy. It’s as if for the last 12 or so years I haven’t had a moments privacy. If that’s the case, then why am I blogging? Surely I would have had enough?
Sometimes I don’t want people to know what’s going on in my head, my delusional experiences do that for me. I am a walking talking telepathic blog, supposedly.
But aside from some blocks I put on my private life on this page, there’s part of me that knows this (the voices and broadcast) is not real and so people don’t know what the experience is like even though the experience says they do. If you follow me.
I suppose it goes back to the fact that, not meaning to preach, but there’s a lot of misunderstanding about mental illness and if I’m lucid enough to do something about it, then maybe I should. So this is my attempt to explain it all, whilst letting rip with my rants at the same time, which in many ways, although not the cause of nor caused by my illness are still inextricably linked to it as they are all part of the individual that is me.
Also therapeutically, blogging actually helps me convince myself my delusions are not real in some perverse way. And sharing these belief systems my head conjures up somehow makes me feel less alienated, literally, as funnily enough I haven’t given away my heads contents unwillingly by thought broadcast, but have chosen to share willingly under my own control. So there you have it, that is why.
One thing I should point out is that this blog is about my inner thoughts and experiences. I won’t be talking about my personal life. Nothing about my family, friends, lovers etc unless they seem relevant, but that’s quite unlikely. Sorry if that disappoints you.
